A Shot at Happiness and Other Ramblings
by DementedPancake
Summary: A collection of BBRae-filled romance short stories that have been written at midnight or later. Anything from tears to comedy included. Rated for sexual language in some chapters.
1. Confession

How did one go about professing their unyeilding love for another casually?

Say, at about six o' clock, dinner time?

Raven didn't think there was a simple answer to such question. It was so sudden, her feelings of passion. She was never able to feel such emotions before, never had been allowed. Friendship, love, and kindness were all frivolous things that weren't mandatory in one's life---that was her train of thought growing up. While other girls brushed the blonde-headed dolls in pink plastic houses and dreamt of marrying a handsome, tall man, Raven had been exiled from society. When not even your mother felt comfortable hugging you in private places, one knew when they weren't cared for. Arella fed her and clothed her, but that was all she could have supplied. And as much as Raven appreciated her efforts, she did not love her. If Raven ever had, she would surely have shredded the dimension of Azar into pieces by the age of seven. While other girls had temper tantrums, Raven was hiding in hallways as she escaped from daily training, forced to surpress any feelings. While other girls were complimented by their adorable charms, Raven was constantly reminded that she was evil. Oh, the other girls grew to be young women; as did Raven. But the trends continued. As the other girls began wearing more showy make-up and tight clothing, Raven hid behind her hood and any leather-bound book she could find. As the other girls began kissing boys in secret behind pillars and hugging in public, Raven would watch in disgust. What would cause these girls to act to outlandishly silly over the opposite gender?

Then she had met the Titans, whom saved her from herself. As other girls gossiped and squealed over prom, Raven used her demonic powers to join a team of superheroes, all freaks like her. She faught along side them, defeating evil and bringing forth justice. She tried to redeem herself by fighting crime. She had also met Him, the man of her dreams---well, when they had met, he was still a boy. She hadn't known it yet, however. He was reckless and immature; he was naiive and stuborn; he was thick-headed and idiotic. But as the years dragged on, she realized what those traits really were. He was brave and imaginative; he was sweet and honest; he was devoted and humorous. He was, in a way, made for her.

He was her first real friend.

She had been picked up from the gutter, so to speak, by the Titans, but she had been brought into the arms of a saint when he befriended her. At first, they had argued constantly. Raven would always prefer silence and peace if she ever left her room, and he of course was not capable of either. He was loud and obnoxious when they had first started as a team, but for some strange reason, Raven was the only one who thought this about him. He had called her a freak, she had called him an idiot, and they would both end up hurt by words not meant to scar. She wasn't used to interacting with people, you see. All the attention he would shower her with was just simply too much for her, a girl who was accustomed to being ignored when in a crowded room. But he finally accepted her with open arms, forgiving of all her hurtful words and actions. Every time she would lash out, he would still be there with those stupid eyes, full of love. It had made Raven sick at first. Why would he not fight back with her anymore? Why would he no longer try to rip at her heart with harsh words that spit from a silver tongue?

Because he all of a sudden started to _care_.

Raven, still new to the business of showing emotions, would be unable to relate to him at times when they would talk. She didn't know what to say when he ended a sentence with, "I just feel different things, you know?" And the fact that she couldn't talk with him frustrated her, making her aggitated. If he would question her moodiness, she would snap at him, only to regret it later. Slowly, she began to see what friendship was like. She was warming up to his strange ways, and he was forcing her to taste emotions in a way she never had experianced them before. He had his faults, of course. He didn't know when to leave well enough alone, and he could sometimes be quite stupid, to a point where Raven wasn't sure it was believable. Of corse Raven had hers---much to many to list now---but he pretended as if her random bursts of rage and inability to communicate with others was natural, making her feel less socially awkward. She even managed to start a conversation with three of the Titans without him there at some point.

That was when blonde-haired, blue-eyed Terra entered the scene. She had the body of a foreign model, the face of an ancient work of art, and the happy-go-lucky personality that made it easy to be in the same room with her. She was the reason why Raven's mornings were torment, the person who tore up her world and caused reality to tear by the seams. Raven saw the look on his face when he first saw her. When her wind-chime laughter was the response to one of his unfunny jokes Raven never liked, she knew he had fallen for Terra. She was everything Raven wasn't and then some; she was like the other girls Raven had seen all around her, but better. Raven saw her in the halls with Beast Boy, and her heart would ache. She would see them hold hands, and her stomach would clench. She had caught them kissing, and for the first time in years, she had felt tears grace her cheeks. It was too late for her; even after she had realized that she was in love with him, Terra got to him first. She would clench her fists and revert back into her shell whenever he was near---taking several giant steps backwards from the three hesitant steps he had made her take. She grew angry with herself constantly. Why should he have to suffer? If Raven could never find true happiness, then why shouldn't he try to? He deserved a shot at happiness for all he had been through, all that he did for others.

And Terra, who had his heart wrapped around her little finger, was gone. Just like that---poof, you can't find me. He had, of course, been heartbroken. Terra had been his love, his one and only. While Raven was happy she had gotten lost, he hid an inner pain that tore him apart from the inside out. He skulked about and grew angrier with the other Titans, mainly Raven because of how easy a target she was. She took the abuse without a comment, allowing him to let out his pain. At night she could hear him scream and kick at his walls, and she could almost picture him trying to break his knuckles. She talked with him when she could, and he began to come to his senses, the original jokester shining through the murky fog. He had hugged her and told her that she was like his younger sister, and his best friend. Raven was so happy then, that she meant so much to him. She wanted more, but she took what she could. She wasn't allowed to be greedy now. After all she had seen and been through, she couldn't afford to be greedy and want more. She was lucky enough that she had one friend, let alone four of them. She ignored the constant ache in her chest when he smiled, secretly wishing that he would be smiling because of her. But, she lied to herself, she was happy.

But she was so horrible, so disgusting, so greedy.

She had to tell him she loved him. She would watch him sometimes when he wasn't aware, and she would realize that he was hers. He wasn't a posession of hers, nor was he a boyfriend (ugh, she hated that word; it sounded so juvinile.) He was her angel, as cliche as it was. _How ridiculous!_ she would laugh silently to herself. _A guardian angel for Satan's daughter!_ But who else but her needed one? It was about time she had been blessed with one of God's gifts, even if it had taken a while to reach her. As she looked at him more often, she knew she had to tell him. She had to take a chance and tell him because if she didn't she would spontaneously combust. She deserved happiness, even if it meant taking one the risk of losing her best friend, her gaurdian angel.

She would tell him tonight after dinner, then, if she couldn't figure out how to bring it up during the meal.

---

**I've decided to start a collection of mini, non-related short stories filled with BBRae fluff that I've thought up late at night.**

** This one was a bit long, but oh well~**


	2. Winner

"I hate you."

The words stung her mouth, even as she spat the sentence out. She felt her temples throb as she held in tears she refused to shed in front of him, and her face was probably flushed from all of the yelling. Her throat was sore and her lips was dry, her tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth. Her hair was disheveled and her cloak was twisted after she had jerked it back on hastily as she tried to leave. She was on her way out of the tower, running away from him; as usual, another night. Everytime they had a fight, she would run. She would hide because she didn't want to see him, hear him, talk to him. Want him, even if she was angry with his stupidity. She ran because she was afraid he would leave her if she took things too far and he just decided to end everything. This might have been one of the things that would break their relationship up, something she had feared from the beginning.

Beast Boy took one bumbling step back, looking as if she had slapped him in the face instead of whispering those words to him. Had she really sounded as if she meant it when she told him that? He blinked at her, and his eyes told her that he felt betrayed. His uniform was wrinkled and she noticed subconsciously that the zipper of his shirt was broken. His hair, which he had grown out to cover his (even though he disagreed to an extreme) strangely charming ears, hung in his eyes , covering his face. Raven was glad for this, because she didn't need to see his expression to know that he probably hated her. It was all a matter of time, anyway. She knew he had to hate her after that. It was just the way things were supposed to go for her. She didn't _deserve_ to be happy---not as happy as she was when she was with him.

But she didn't mean it.

She wanted to take it back, but the words had forced themselves from her throat, like speech-vomit. But it was too late. Some things you couldn't un-say. Her eyes stung and she angrily fought tears from spilling. She hadn't cried in over six years, she wouldn't start now because of a few silly words. But they weren't just words; they were combined to form a sentence that seemingly pierce right through Beast Boy's chest sending him back so that he wouldn't have to stand so close to her. Raven threw up her hood and turned, afraid to look at him. This always happened when they faught over something trivial. They would start with teasing jiibes that ended up into harsh comments. It was sort of like a game; whoever thought of the meanest memory or worst thing about the other won. It was a game she disliked, but eagerly participated in any time she had the chance to.

"Fine," Beast Boy whispered, glaring at her from beneath emerald locks of hair. "Then leave." Raven felt her lip tremble but she controlled it. Not now, Raven. Find a nice dark alley and let everything out there. You can't afford to show weakness now. "Leave!" He shouted, desperation in his voice. Raven felt the tears well up despite her and felt them trail down her cheeks, streaking her pale skin. At least he can't see me cry, she thought weakly, although she knew her shoulders were shaking as she silently sobbed. He raised his voice again, and it cracked in the middle of the sentence. "Get the hell out of here!" He stood on his toes---he had grown almost seven inches since they had first met, spurting up so that he now towered over her. Her was Starfire's height by now, actually. His entire frame shook with anger and he thrust a finger at the open door, biting his lip in a way that looked as if he was trying not to cry. But that was stupid---she hadn't seen him ever cry. Why would he cry over _her,_ of all people?

She started walking and the last thing she heard him say before she slammed the door shut with her mind---the automatic _swishing_ sound the doors normally made would be too quiet for her dramatic exit---was him whisper: "I don't want to win this time."

She felt his eyes on her back even as the door blocked her from sight.

---

**A bit depressing for a BBRae fic, but I've been feeling down ):**


	3. Sneak

Beast Boy played with a violet strand of her hair without even thinking about it. She was lying on the couch, asleep past the point of return. Straight back from battle she had done something uncharacteristicly like herself and fallen onto the living room sofa, without even bother to wash. She must have been so worn out, Beast Boy thought as he twirled the hair around his index finger. Poor Ravie, he smirked. When he had found her like this, her head leaning against the couch's arm, he had almost laughed out loud. The scene was just so unlike Raven that it was hilarious to him. With her eyes shut and her brow smooth, she seemed completely tranquil; apparently she could acheive that level of calm if she wasn't listening to Beast Boy. He had done the first thing that came to mind and sat down next to her, watching the empath sleep. It was all extremely extraordinary. Seeing her like this, so vunerable for the world to eat her up, was such a rare sight; he never thought he'd ever get a chance to witness it in this lifetime.

Her eye twitched and Beast Boy knew that if she stayed on the couch all night, she would wake up with a stiff back. A stiff neck, too. Possibly a stiff _everything_, if she insisted on falling asleep in such an awkward position, on leg drawn up to her chest and the other hanging off the couch; one arm thrown over her chest and the other bent oddly behind her head; her torso twisting in a completely different direction from the rest of her body. He sighed and looked around to make sure no one was watching him. He could hear Starfire upstairs, and knew that Cyborg had to be downstairs working on the T-car. As for Robin...well, he was sure the Boy Wonder wouldn't be too much of a problem at the moment. Carefully, to prevent from waking her and finding himself in one of the most embarressing situations of his life, he lifted her off of the couch. Her head lolled lazily on her neck, but as long as nothing was broken, he figured she was still alive. He grunted and fixed her body so that he was carrying her in his arms, her head resting against his chest and her arms fell neatly onto her stomach. Her legs were bent slightly, his hand in the crease of her knee and the other gently on the back of her neck. He took one step foward and she yawned, rubbing her face against his chest. Beast Boy froze, stopping his breathing and almost stopping his heart.

Please, oh please, don't make her wake up.

If Raven were to wake up now...He would have shuddered to even think about the possibilities if he knew he wouldn't drop her. He traveled so warily that he seemed to move in slow-motion, taking on all means that would keep the Goth girl in his arms from awakening. The stairs were his most challenging opponent, but he had miraculously managed to walk up an entire flight without even bumping her feet into the railing. This was going almost too well, he thought happily as he approched her room. He stepped in front of the door and waited for it to automatically open for him. It slid open inaudibly, and he tip-toed in quietly. This was a danger zone, now. It would be one thing for her to wake up in his arms; it was another thing entirely for her to wake up with him in her room. Juggling with her body, he yanked down her sheets and placed her down onto the mattress of her circular bed. He placed both hands on the center of his spine and cracked his back, having been relieved of almost one-hundred-and-eight pounds of dead weight, and was pleased to hear it pop into place. He rolled his shoulders for good measure before covering Raven with her blanket, watching as she huddled into it immediately.

She was so adorable when she slept.

He watched her for a few seconds, in utter bliss, and was glad that no one had caught him with Raven snuggling up to him in her sleep. While the two had obvious sexual tension radiating between them, Beast Boy really didn't need his friends teasing him every other opportunity they got. For just once, if he was in the same room as she was, he would appreciate it if Cyborg could refrain from making some kind of sexual innuendo; or when Robin would constantly pair the two up in training sessions just for a cheap laugh, he would partner him up with Cy. And Starfire...ugh. If he had to go through one more humiliating conversation with her about what every action he performed around Raven meant to Tameranian's, he would throw himself out of the Titans Tower window. He didn't think he was in love with her, but he cared about her. Watching her sleep just made him realize how much. She looked...breakable, if the word would ever be able to describe someone like Raven. Porcelain skin, smooth and unblemished, was almost clear in the lighting. Her mouth wasn't frowning---a rarity whenever he was near her---and her eyebrows weren't bunched together in frustration.

He checked the doorway to make sure that positively no one was there to see, and leaned down so that his lips hovered above her forehead. She was asleep, wasn't she? No one would ever have to know about this, right? He wasn't going to be teased for this for the next several years of his life, was he? Pushing those thoughts aside, Beast Boy slowly pressed his lips to the spot next to her Chakra. Her skin felt surprisingly cold, like marble. "Good night, love," he murmered into her forehead. Straightening up so that he was at full height, he turned on his heel and marched out of the room, mission acomplished. He shot her one more look before leaving the room. The last thing he saw was her beautiful face, long-lashed eyes shut peacefully, and...

He could feel his cheeks burn as he took in this new sight.

_Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no._

Was is just a trick of the light...

...or was she smirking at him?

---

**I was in a hurry writing this one, so I expect that there are MANY mistakes hidden in here. Please point them out to me!**


	4. Everywhere

**Right off the bat, I want to warn you that this is OOC on Raven's part. But, I had to get this idea out or I would 'splode. So deal and don't tell me "WTF GTFO N00B HOW COULD YOU WRITE HER DOING THIS?" because, really, I just wanted to use two characters for this story. Deal :)**

She had to be going insane—that was the only logical explanation for all of the hallucinations.

It had been nearly a year since Raven had left the Titans. Almost an entire year since she had spent in the Big, Bad World by herself. She missed her friends, but it was important for her to stay away from them while she was still transmitting Trigon's evil. She didn't know when he would attack, but it was taking him a long time, and for that Raven was glad. But she was depressed so many times a day because she could not go to her friends, to put the Titans in danger, until she was sure Trigon was not able to harm them.

Raven had stopped her work as a superhero, and the Titans had never known the wiser. She had runaway to Gotham City, the last place the Titans would search for her, if they even cared enough to. Using magic to alter her appearance, Raven changed the color of her hair and hid her Chakra. She rented out an apartment, now eighteen years of age, and worked part time as a secretary. It was a dull job that helped numb her mind, forget what once was. It was a…content lifestyle for her. But, at night, memories would come flooding back into her brain, enough to send her onto the floor, curled in a ball as she fought them back.

She had decided by herself one day that she would leave and never return. It was for the best of the team, she told herself as she quietly packed her bags. They would never have to deal with her problematic life again, she reminded herself as she crept out of the window to her room, careful so that she wouldn't trigger the alarm. But when she stopped at the bus station, she had come so close to breaking down. She had almost turned around and aborted her mission completely, but she knew that she couldn't afford to do that to her friends. She cared about them too much to do something as stupid as stay with them after all the trouble she had caused. Switching into civilian clothes, Raven dumped her cloak into the destroyed trash can, along with her leotard. Not only would it be a dead give-away if someone were to spot her carrying the items, but they held to many memories. Painful memories she wished to forget.

When she went from a bus to a train during the long journey, she realized that she was sacrificing so much, but for a good reason. She felt so guilty keeping all the Titans in peril for so long, and it was high time someone got rid of her; and she refused to wait until the Titans kicked her out. Better she leave before they could reject her. She had heard a boy laugh in a similar fashion as Beast Boy had, high-pitched and crackly, but when her head whipped around it was a regular red-headed boy. She had gazed down, utterly miserable. Did she really expect any one to come chasing after her? It was better they did no such thing, anyway! They were smart to let her runaway! But the thought of the Titans almost sent her ballistic again.

Starfire had become a close friend of hers, although the two females had nothing in common whatsoever. She was a person who had a natural pleasantness that even Raven couldn't resist. Her undeniable charm was what kept Raven by her side even when she thought she was an idiot. Robin was the closest thing she could have to a father-figure, while also being an equal to her. He cared for all the Titans, but was strict enough to enforce the rules of the Tower with power. He was protective of them all, but at times he could be a fun-loving teenager like the rest of them as well. He, too, kept his emotions under a steel chain, although not for the reasons Raven did. Cyborg was her older brother, blood relations or naught. He was the person she turned to when she had a problem, or when something was bothering her. He had a black hole for a stomach, and was never one to shy away from leftover food. He was the brains behind the Towers main system, the computer geek and the jock combined. And Beast Boy. Raven had covered her face with her hands. Goddess, Beast Boy! He was her best friend, her first friend, the only friend she had sometimes. He was the one with the boyish good looks and the knee-knocking smile. He was the one who thought he was funny when no one else thought him to be. He was the one who was colored green but thought nothing of what others said behind his back. Raven admired his bravery, and how he put up such a brave front when he was in so much pain inside. He was the one that Raven had fallen in love with before even knowing she had.

Of course, she dreamed of the Titans constantly. They were on her thoughts many times each day, to the point where she completed grueling activities just to forget about them. But if she took a break from her job, closed her eyes for a short moment, his face would be there. His stupid, smiling, green face would be there. If she undressed for bed, she could see him watching her on the bed in her minds eyes, in only his boxers. If she shut the light to go to sleep, she felt as if he was in the corner. It happened all the time, although she had never actually seen him. By the window. Near the refrigerator. Outside of her window. Sitting on the couch. Raiding her pantry. He was everywhere she looked, while not even being in the same city as her.

Now it was a year from then, almost a full year since she had left. And for the past two weeks, Raven was sure she was seeing things. Instead of the normal thoughts of his presence, she could actually see and hear him. When she went to pick up groceries down at Park It 'N' Market, The Supermarket With All Four Stars, she could have sworn she saw the back of his Doom Patrol suit. When she had bought a ticket for the movies, an activity she partook in to take her mind off of darker things, she could have sworn she had heard his voice. When she had been walking through a bustling subway, she could have sworn she had brushed by a pointed ear somewhere in the crowd. But, during all those circumstances, she had thought that she was just becoming homesick because of how near it was to the anniversary of her leave. She was missing her friends—but Beast Boy more than anyone else. Today had to be the most realistic of her hallucinations. She had sat down on the bus, going home from work, and she glanced out the window. Standing in the street was none other than Beast Boy. He had stared at her, and she had stared back, dumbfounded. If it truly was him, he wouldn't be able to recognize her because of the spell she had worked on her appearance. But when their eyes had met, her newly-blue ones to his emerald-green ones, she had shivered.

Why now? Raven wondered as she entered her home, a sinking feeling in her stomach. In her house, alone with the privacy of a single apartment, she released her spell, because of all the energy it took from her to hold it all day. These hallucinations were beginning to seem ridiculous. Why was she seeing these things now, of all times? Was she finally going crazy? Had she snapped and just started seeing things?

Someone knocked on her door and Raven froze.

The person knocked again, louder this time.

She twisted around to face the door, as if the person knocking would decide to kick it off its hinges.

_Perhaps if I pretend I am not home, whoever it is will leave?_ She asked herself, holding her breath and keeping perfectly still.

The knocks grew more consistent, and for once Raven was sad she did not have any neighbors that could complain. She stood in her house, alone, petrified, and waited for the knocking to stop. The knocking ended shortly and she exhaled softly. She thought she was safe…until she heard the voice.

"Raven, open the door."

Fear sank in her stomach.

Raven gasped and both hands flew up to cover her mouth. She could almost hear the smile in his voice when he said, "I can hear your heartbeat." Raven fell to the floor, shaking hysterically. He couldn't find her! Not after all of this time! She had been gone for so long! Why had he finally come so late! "Please open the door," he repeated calmly. Raven's eyes widened when she realized what was going on. This was her mind, playing another twisted trick on her. This was yet another hallucination. There wasn't anyone knocking on her door and calling her name! She was just reliving her time in Titans Tower when Beast Boy would try to drag her out from hiding in her room. This was all just imaginary! "Rave—"

"Leave!" She screamed. "Get away from my house before I call the police!"

He barked a laugh. "I _am_ part of the police, Raven." Oh, her mind was making this so hard for her to believe this was a lie! But Raven was smarter than that; she wouldn't fall for this trick again! She covered her ears with her hands, shutting her eyes as tightly as she could.

"I know you're not real!" She warned him. "So don't try to play games with me!"

His voice became softer, gentler. "Rae, just open the door. I'll prove it."

Raven, unsure of what to do, decided to just open the door. It would swing on its rust hinges and she would see no one standing there. Just as she suspected there would be. Hesitantly, she opened the door with her mind, something she hadn't done in ages. Ever since she had resigned from superhero-ing, she had suppressed her demonic abilities. The door creaked, and she remembered that when she had proven she was honest-to-Azar insane she would have to buy oil, and slowly, so slowly, swung open. Raven swallowed loudly, caught completely off guard. In the doorway stood Beast Boy, exactly as she had seen him the night before she had left. He had grown taller, leaner, and more matured-looking, but nothing about him really changed. He took a step into the house and Raven scooted away, propelling herself into the back of her sofa.

"Stop doing this to me…" she whispered, clutching her head. Why was her mind making this so difficult? He took a few steps closer and she felt her temples throb. "Please, don't make me go through this." He stepped closer, closer, closer, until he was suddenly looking down at her from a foot or two away. "_Why are you everywhere?!_" Raven demanded, her hands balled so tightly into fists that the tendons were sticking out, her knuckles whiter than normal. He sat down on his haunches in front of her, the exact way he used to sit during their time together as Titans. _"Stop making me relive all of this! I don't want to remember you!"_ she cried out, trying to back away further although she no longer had anywhere else to go. She was trapped, cornered by her own fantasy. Ignoring her, he reached out and held her cheek like he used to when they were alone, his fingertips brushing by her skin. His gloves still smelt of latex and Velcro.

"See, Raven? I'm real." He smiled crookedly, pounding one fist on his chest. "Not a ghost, or some form of a mental breakdown. It's still me."

"H-How did you find me?" Raven asked, trembling like a small child.

A grim expression crossed his face and his hand dropped from hers. Raven longed for his touch but was determined to find an answer while she recovered from insanity. She had totally lost herself just from the sight of an old friend! "We searched everywhere. Our first thought was that you had gone to a different dimension, and Cyborg had worked for weeks on a machine that would help us travel through dimensions. There were too many, so we had to give that up. We thought you were too smart to hide somewhere obvious, but we scanned Jump City like there was a bomb hidden in every nook and cranny. We checked with all the other Titans—hell, even the H.I.V.E.!—but they hadn't heard from you. We had a bunch of them help us out by spreading to different continents. We stopped here and searched, but Robin didn't think you would stay in Gotham. You never really like it when we went to see Batman." He smiled and went on. "I stayed behind because I just _knew_ you had to be around. I kept on searching and searching, because I just had this _feeling_, you know? Like a sixth sense or something. I was almost going to stop and try another city, but today…today I found you.

"You've been hiding from us, and the disguise you've been using could have fooled me if I hadn't made eye contact with you. I can place your eyes anywhere, in any color or form, Raven. I stopped by the police station and described the way you had been going around. They said you were a sweet girl," he chuckled at that, "and that you've been living here for almost a year. I could have beaten the shit out of Robin for not checking Gotham first, but I was too happy to find you. They told me that you lived somewhere over here, and that your name was Rachel Roth." He stared deeply into her eyes, and said, "I'm surprised you decided to use your real name to rent out the house."

"Go…" She told him, pointing to the door as her arm shook uncontrollably. "Don't tell anyone that you've found me, and just leave! Never come back and never see me again! I left to save you, don't make me regret it!"

"Raven," Beast Boy muttered pityingly, nudging closer. His face was only inches from hers. "I can't do that." Their lips were only a few centimeters apart. If he moved they would kiss. "I can't go on, knowing you're here when you should be with us." His breath smelled like tofu, as it had the night she had left. Her head was spinning, losing oxygen as she started to become dizzy. "I love you, Raven."

---

Raven's eyes flew open. Her room was dark, and when she looked at her digital alarm clock it was eleven fifty-nine. Her breathes were coming in short pants and she waited a moment to slow them down. She was Rachel Roth now, living peacefully in Gotham City. The Titans didn't even know where she was. She would never see any of them ever again. The experience with Beast Boy had only been a dream, a stupid nightmare that had seemed real to her—oh! So real to her! But he hadn't come to rescue her, to whisk her away back to Jump City.

She shut her eyes again and a tear leaked out from the sides despite her will to keep them from spilling.

The clock struck midnight.

I was officially a year since she had left him.


	5. Sight

It hadn't been love at first sight, as many believed it to be. There weren't any sparks flying through the air and waves of passionate feelings between them during their first conversation (which consisted of a "hello" and "goodbye" in the same minute.) No, Beast Boy hadn't wanted anything to do with her until a year after they had first joined to make the Teen Titans. And even then, he hadn't even begun to start liking her. In fact, he had kind of hated her, just a bit. He would see her in the halls, if she ventured outside of her room on rare occasions, and he would strategically place his path so that he would secretly avoid her—although, since every time he was caught, it might not have been called "strategic." It wasn't until he first saw the true her, the side of her that she suppressed until it almost didn't come out at all, that Beast Boy realized he had developed quite the crush on the purple-haired empath.

So perhaps it _was_ love at first sight.

Just not in the way people expected it to be.


	6. Songs

**I'm sorry for all of these dinky little one-shots I've been putting up, but I've had writers block on "Love You Forever", and this is the only ay that'll help me spark my "inner-Raven." I might upload a few more, simply because I've had them sitting on my laptop all to their lonesome.**

**---**

Beast Boy was lying upside down on his bed, counting the pairs of boxer-shorts he had thrown on his floor, when he heard it. The sound greeted his extra-sensitive ears while he was up to seven pairs, which he would really need to pick up if anyone were to stumble into his room. It almost sounded like…music. Curious, he exited his room in search of the source of such a beautiful noise. From outside, it sounded clearer, but it wasn't defined. It was someone singing, but who would be singing in Titans Tower?

Finding that the singing was coming from down to hallway, he looked around to see if anyone else was out with him. No one to the right, no one to the left, no one coming down the center…and just to be sure, no one stuck to the ceiling or glued to the floor. He followed it, using his ears as a guide, in a trance. Beast Boy finally traced it to a specific room, the bathroom. Steam poured out from the crack underneath it, and he assumed someone was taking a shower. Tip-toeing closer as not to alert the person creating the sound and stopping it altogether, he pressed his ear to the door discreetly.

He could hear the angelic voice much more clearly, along with the steady stream of shower water hitting the ceramic bathtubs' floor. There were no words to the song, but instead a wonderfully sounding hum coming deep from inside the singers' throat. It was too high-pitched to be either Cyborg's or Robin's, and he had heard Starfire singing before—something he wished never to hear again, like, ever. When the realization of who was singing dawned on him, his eyes widened an inch. Then his lips curled into a smile, his one lone fang protruding from his lower lip.

He hadn't known that Raven sang in the shower.


	7. Comparing Musical Styles

"Why don't you like the music I listen to?" Garfield asked her one day, his rather large eyes attempting to sneakily watch his female companion without her noticing—an attempt that sadly was not working. A pair of vibrating headphones lay around his neck, like a half-finished necklace straight out from the eighties. The sun shown down onto the two friends from their spot on a secluded park bench—secluded because Rachel hated being around people at this early hour. People in general, actually, but certain times made looking at another person unbearable.

It was mid-day by now, a few weeks after school had ended. The pair went to separate schools, something Garfield secretly loathed. He had been sent to a public school full of snobby bastards, while Rachel had been shipped away to a private school where no one spoke to her. Now, though, they were allowed to hang out as much as humanly possible before the season ended and they were sent back to their respective schools. A breeze ruffled his bangs, the sunlight causing his already-blonde hair to look even fairer. Dust particles swirled in the air along with fallen leaves, which looked like they were dancing together. His thumb flicked through different playlists on his ePod, selecting a song which caused the bass to rumble through his headset.

Rachel opened one blue-yet-violet eye before shutting it again, shoulders thrown back and her pale face thrust out as she bravely tried to tan. Raven-colored hair was pulled sloppily into a ponytail, hidden in a bulky blue sweatshirt despite the heat. "I just don't find a point to it," she murmured in response, not finding it terribly important to look at Garfield's face as she answered. It was a habit of hers to reveal as little of her self as possible, even to someone she had known since the sixth grade. But he normally was always asking her stupid questions about her life, her past, her dreams, her desires, her hobbies, her taste in men, her favorite colors. He was just a nuisance at times, which caused Rachel to wonder why she even hung out with Garfield. Then someone would come by and snicker at her, and Rachel would remember _exactly_ why after Garfield beat the living hell out of them.

"Here," she heard him sigh, and then her eyes flew open when the side of her face connected against his cheek. Garfield had snapped the headphones around both of their heads, sharing his music selection with his best friend. The music was some rock song that was too-loud, the guitar shrieking, the males voice out of pitch—the same kind of music Garfield enjoyed listening to, sadly. Rachel enjoyed heavy metal songs, but only when you couldn't understand what the person was saying, and then when you looked up the lyrics it painted a cruel but beautiful picture. What was it called, Screamo?

But instead of enjoying the incredibly annoying music, the world grew twenty degrees hotter. At least, it felt that way to Rachel. Obviously, she had begun to flush, something she rarely did and hated to do, since her complexion was so pale. Self-consciously, she glanced at Garfield to see if he noticed her discomfort and would tease her about it. Luckily, he was too preoccupied with his ePod to look away from the screen. Rachel resisted the urge to lick her suddenly dry lips and decided that her usual sarcasm was enough to keep the attention away from her.

"This sucks, Gar."

Now Garfield looked up at her, incredulously. "You have _got_ to be kidding me!" He cried, even knowing Rachel never once kid with him about anything. "This is _the_ Led Gazebo! They're a classic rock group!"

"Then they classically suck," Rachel said, amazed that Garfield hadn't realized he had set himself up for that attack. Her eyes quickly darted to look at the trees surrounding them, painfully aware that his lips were only a few inches from hers. A stray stubble of blonde chin hair stuck out oddly in the lighting, which Garfield refused to shave off because he deemed them too important.

Whatever.

Garfield frowned, a movement Rachel could feel against her face, and also causing her face to light up red again. She always detested how he had this affect on her, even after all these years. "What do you suggest we listen to then?" he asked, furiously scrolling through his musical player. Scoffing, Rachel plucked the device from his hands—earning a disgruntled "Hey!" from her blonde friend—and searched the artists for something pleasant to listen to. Perhaps a band centered around misery and death would suit the drearily sunny day. She passed bands such as The What and Foam, and almost smirked when she saw Dianna Alabama. But her eyes landed upon a certain band and she paused.

"H.E.R.?" she recited, and he scratched the back of his nervously, a habit he had gotten into when he was chagrined.

"Well, they _are_ your favorite band…" Rachel felt her brow crumple in thought.

"Yes," she told him slowly, "but I never realized that you actually cared about the questions you asked me." Garfield looked both offended and surprised by this.

"Of course I cared! Hell, I'm the one who asked you, didn't I?"

She shook her head, and incredible feat seeing as his headphones still had their faces smashed awkwardly against the others. People who were passing by looked at them as if they were a couple together on a romantic date, but Rachel ignored them. She had grown used to the mistake some people made between the two friends, although the misunderstanding would annoy her that people couldn't accept that a man and a woman could be _just friends_.

At least, that's what she would tell everyone who asked what they were. The truth was far more embarrassing than that. "My opinion usually never matters, so I had just figured that you wouldn't really want to know what I was interested in."

Garfield laughed. "Ray, I've always enjoyed hearing your opinions, smart-ass or not. As your best friend, I think that it's at least _one_ of the qualities you deserve from me."

They sat in silence after that, listening to H.E.R.'s "Murdering Loneliness", until Girls Like Boys replaced the song. Rachel, still contemplating Garfield's words, hadn't even noticed the change in music. He was always much too nice when it came to her.

Rachel had seen that, over the years, he would treat her more sweetly than the rest of the people he hung out with at school. And for no reason whatsoever, either. He had just sat at her empty lunch table one day and that had been the start of an era. Of course, he was a shameless flirt when they were utterly alone, but other than that he was such a gentleman that it scared Rachel at times. He cared for her, that was for sure, and that worried her sometimes, because she believed she cared for him as well. He was just a man with so much to give; an unlucky sap with a too-big heart. _Much_ too big for someone as undeserving as Rachel. He would be better off wasting his love on someone like Tarra Markov; now there was a girl who was so deeply in love with Garfield it was a tad disgusting. She would be perfect for happy-go-lucky Gar. They would get along swell compared to how he and Rachel did, what with their conflicting personalities and all.

As "The Wonderful Escape" ended, Rachel sighed and removed her half of the headphones. Garfield gave her a questioning look from the corner of his aqua-colored eyes, head still bobbing in time to the music. Those damn chin hairs stuck out, a shade darker than his own hair, and she ripped her gaze from them.

"I guess you're okay, Gar," she mainly said to herself. Spitefully, but in a playful way that she knew he would forgive, she snapped his other headphone onto his head. Walking away, she smirked to herself when he yelped and snatched at his ear—definitely much too nice for someone like Rachel.

"But your taste in music still sucks."


	8. Shampoo

Beast Boy noticed Raven sitting on the couch, reading, too absorbed in her story to see him watching her from the kitchen. She was such an odd creature, he thought to himself as he studied her with never-moving eyes. He took in every flicker of her fingers as she flipped each page, every time she scrathed her forehead, ever movement she made to push her hair behind her ears. A very pretty, odd creature, he admitted to himself. After the years and years of living as teammates, and then two more years as becoming friends, Beast Boy had developed the smallest of crushes on her. But only because he knew he couldn't have her—or, really, she just wouldn't have him. Humans always covet what they can't have. It was silly, because he should have been happy with their friendship, but for him, it wasn't enough. Occasionally, he enjoyed teasing her and flirting, something that came to him as a second nature. Now was one of those times.

Silently, he crept behind her and took his chance, the only opportunity he would get today, maybe even this week. Raven tended to avoid him if he embarrassed her too badly in one day. He leaned forward, his nose finding its way in her hair, her beautiful violet hair. She had let it grow after all these years of keeping it short and normally had it tied in a braid that reached her thighs. Today, though, she let it loose and cascading down her back. She stiffened when she realized what he was doing but didn't move, frozen. If he wanted to hope, he might even say she liked it—but that might have been going too far.

"Jasmine," he decided approvingly. It was a pleasant, and he had sort of expected her hair to smell that way. It was the only kind of tea she drank, so it figured that would be the same kind of shampoo. Slowly, Raven turned around to look at him, her expression controlled although it was obvious she was confused by his actions.

"Excuse me?" Beast Boy smiled at her puzzlement.

"Your hair smells like jasmine," he informed her, struggling to keep a serious face. Raven quirked an eyebrow at him strangely. It wasn't everyday that a handsome green young man stuck his nose to her head and smelled her. She fixed her purple locks so that they were in front of her shoulders, and so that Beast Boy could no longer access it. "I wanted to know what shampoo you used," he explained, as if it would justify his actions.

"And why did you need to know this exactly?" she questioned, and Beast Boy could smell her calm mood turn to embarrassment in a split second before she suppressed it completely. Oh ho ho! So it seemed he was beginning to get to her now!

"I was just curious," he shrugged, perfecting nonchalance.

"Curious of what I do in the shower?" Raven's lips twitched as she prevented a smile from gracing her soft lips. Beast Boy gave her a coy smile, resting his chin on her shoulder so that she was forced to look him in the eye as he answered.

"If you want me to ask you, then what _are_ you doing in the shower?" She reacted the exact way he had anticipated. Raven blushed with the intensity he hadn't believed someone as emotionally withdrawn as she could, and behind him he smelled the microwave catch fire. He ignored it though, and finished her mortification by widening his smirk. The mere thought of Beast Boy imagining her in the shower was apparently embarrassing enough to paint Raven red. Before the smoke alarm could go off and alert the other Titans of her blunder—and that was the last thing Raven wanted, because then she would have to explain _why_ the microwave had caught fire—she telekinetically put it out, and the smoke coming form it ceased.

Beast Boy blinked innocently, and asked, not taking his eyes off of her, "Now why would the microwave explode like that? It was working when I made popcorn before."

"If you just came to tease me, you should leave before I do something _you'll_ regret," Raven snapped. "Like hanging you from the roof over a lake full of vegan-eating sharks…" She trailed off.

"Titans Lake doesn't have any sharks," Beast Boy blinked, thrown off his game momentarily. Raven smiled sinisterly.

"Then maybe I'll find some just for you." Beast Boy groaned at her eagerness to throw him into a lake of deadly fish. Things were starting to stray from his original plan, and he hastily tried to gain the upper hand.

"Really, Raven, Cyborg bet that I wouldn't have the guts to find out," he lied, when the real reason was because he had wanted to annoy her. He just wanted her to pay attention to him, good or bad, he didn't really care. As long as she was looking his way with those breathtaking violet eyes, he was fine with making himself look like an idiot. Of course, Raven would never be able to know the real reason, so he stuck to blaming Cyborg. "I was just having some fun with you." Raven sighed, collecting her bearings.

"I'm just amazed that the only solution to this would involve _sniffing me_ like that. Was it really the only way to find out?" Raven shook her head when he excitedly said, "Totally!" Did he not even realize he could have merely asked her? She turned away from him, finding that he was of no amusement anymore, and went to read again. Beast Boy turned away and took a few steps to the door before stopping. He muttered something, and Raven glanced up, her attention caught.

"What was that?"

Yes! She had taken the bait; fish, line, and sinker.

He looked over his shoulder and shot her a look that made her heart flutter and her stomach drop simultaneously. "I said," he told her easily, "'and you use vanilla body-wash, right?'" He put a finger to his mouth, pretending to think and Raven knew he was plotting. "Doesn't the word 'body-wash' sound kind of provocative? Y'know? Like, what could _you_ be doing, in the shower, rubbing vanilla body-wash all over—"

He laughed insanely as he dodged the hard-covered book she chucked at his head, barely missing it by centimeters. And when she flung another one at his face using her powers, he didn't even mind the black eye; when Raven had to tell Robin why she decked him, her humilation would be justice enough.


	9. Teeth

Raven hated taking the subway. She hated the urine-smelling stairways, she hated the disgusting gum-covered floor, she hated the grimy walls she tried to avoid leaning on, and she hated the handrails that were sticky with something mysterious. Most of all, she hated being crammed into a metal tube filled to the brim with strangers. People that pushed up against her, bumped into her, made her stomach turn and her head spin with all of their thoughts and emotions. That, and some of the people were just plain obnoxious; be they talking loudly on the phone, or rubbing onto her a bit more than the usual public-transit passerby would.

Working undercover sucked.

"I cannot believe we missed the first train the others are on," Raven said tonelessly, examining her purple-painted fingernails. It was so strange, looking at her hands now that she was in disguise. The flesh-colored fingers she flexed still didn't seem entirely hers. Beast Boy snorted next to her, and she glanced at him from the corner of her eyes — and had to suppress a small jolt of shock when she saw him. Two days in disguise and Raven still didn't recognize her teammate.

Which was, given how drastic his appearance had been changed, to be expected. Beast Boy, who she had come to know as her green, pointy-eared friend, could never be confused with someone out of the ordinary now. Hair that he normally wore spiked was rid of all hair products, leaving it shaggy and, because of Cyborgs' holographic rings, blond. Beneath his sunny lengths of hair was a pair of rounded ears. Most shocking of all though, was how...pink he looked. His skin was no longer a deep green, but peachy and flushed. It was so unnatural on him, so completely odd — Beast Boy had to have the most shocking makeover, aside from Cyborg.

We both looked so normal, Raven thought. Like two regular teenagers, students coming home from a long day at school, instead of the super-powered freaks that they were. Raven had nothing but a pair of dungarees and a black Tee-shirt on; she didn't even have a hood to hide behind, surrounded by all of these people. Her hair was longer, draping down to her back, and the color of midnight. Her Chakra was hidden, as well. Beast Boy had on an unzipped red sweater, a white wife-beater underneath. He even had a pair of headphones blasting hip-hop around his neck. Picture perfect.

"So, what, it's my fault?" He rolled startlingly blue eyes at the unsaid statement, and burrowed his hands further into the pockets of his khakis.

"I never said that," Raven pointed out in a dull voice, now staring at the nails on her other hand.

"But you implied it," the other Titan pointed out. He leaned forward into the darkness of the subway tunnels, only to be disappointed by what he saw; or didn't see, to be exact.

Raven was suddenly irritated. She was tired from school, she was overwhelmed by all of the emotions she was forced to swallow around all those people, she was annoyed that she couldn't even teleport herself home...

"Maybe we could have caught it if I did not have to wait for you in _detention_," she hissed, eyes narrowed. Beast Boy simply scoffed, not noticing her anger, or simply ignoring it.

"Like I knew throwing paper balls at your head would get us in trouble."

"Anyone with half a mind could foresee that," hissed Raven. Beast Boy scoffed indignantly, refusing to answer.

The two Titans sulked respectively in silence, ten minutes having passed before the changeling glanced down at her nervously.

"Did you even read what it said?" He asked, biting his lip. Raven sighed, having grown bored of the silent treatment she had been giving him. And he was simply too cute to stay mad at for extended periods of time.

She looked back up at him, noting how even if he looked like a normal teenager, he still had the specific features that would define him as Beast Boy to those who knew what they were looking for — how his nose sloped up, just slightly, and how it had a bump in the center of it from getting hit one too many times. Or how his face always looked so strong and square from the side, little hints of facial hair sprouting around the jawline. Or how the area between his thick eyebrows would crinkle when he was thinking.

"Yes," she answered, inching a bit closer to him, only a small gap between the two.

Beast Boy closed the distance between them, leaving no room for personal space. Raven leaned back into him, relishing at the new height he had gained over the years. It was nice to have someone to support her weight after such a long day. She let her head rest against his chest, enjoying the rapid beating as he wrapped one arm around her waist, exuding a feeling of nervousness and admiration and contentment all at the same time.

Raven couldn't explain her own emotions. She was happy, for one, her own heart speeding up at how he held her, but also exhausted from a busy day. Her eyes were drooping, breathing slowing, sleepiness starting to set in. Her feet suddenly hurt from standing this entire time. Beast Boy started to play with a strand of her newly black hair, trying to keep his hands busy. The movement was very...soothing.

"_And?" _Beast Boy inquired, interrupting her sleepy daze. She opened her mouth to answer just as the world around her started to rumble violently. Far down the tunnel, a small light flashed.

"Train," she informed him of the obvious. He flapped his mouth open and closed dryly, clearly upset that he had not been given an answer; and that Raven was trying to be coy with her response.

Moodily, he stomped into the train doors after his friend, just as an influx of city-dwellers crammed them both to the very end of the train car. Once the car had successfully been stuffed with twice the legal capacity it was built to hold, the train doors slid shut with a cheery _ding!_ It surged forwards, and Beast Boy hurriedly reached for the metal bar to keep his balance; Raven hadn't been so lucky, and fell backwards into the person standing behind her. She mumbled an apology once he glared at her, and swayed back to her fellow Titan. She yawned and opened her eyes to find Beast Boy smiling faintly at her.

"Sleepy?" he asked, amused. Raven nodded in response, blinking twice, as to clear her bleary eyes.

"Here," he started, dipping his head down to softly kiss her lips. They were chapped, and her face flush happily. She always reacted the same way when he kissed her. "How about now?"

Unsure how to answer, Raven tilted her lips up into what almost resembled a smile. "Yes."

Then she rested her forehead against his shoulder, paying no mind to the roughness of the sweater. How can he wear this all day? She thought, turning her head so that her cheek was forced to brave the tough fabric.

She could have sworn she heard him snicker. "_C'mon_, you need to stay up. I can't carry your through the subway; that'd be too much effort." Ever daring, he proceeded to poke her stomach.

Startled by the unexpected pressure to her center, Raven jumped and squealed, something that almost never happened. Unless, of course, Beast Boy poked her ticklish spots.

"What about now?" he persisted.

Rubbing her stomach, Raven glared and answered, just as moodily as he had been before, "_Yes_. I am a bit more awake."

Beast Boy grinned lamely, sending all of her anger out of her frame of mind. His lone fang flashed for a moment before he covered it with his bottom lip — for whatever reason, the holograph rings could mask everything but teeth. "Wonderful!" he cried, pretending to be absolutely delighted, even when half of the train turned to stare at them; and as if to prove he could further embarrass her, he planted another kiss onto her unsuspecting face.

Raven frowned, pretending to be annoyed, but the giddy redness of her face betrayed her.

Two silent stops later, the two undercover Titans exited the train and entered another platform. This time, they would have to separate, taking two different trains in order to divert attention from anyone that might be onto them. It was all very paranoid, but what else could one expect from Robin?

Beast Boy backed up against a column, one leg bent as his foot pressed against the wall, the other heel digging into the floor. He glanced at her once before putting his hands in her back pockets, causing Raven to blush. Embarrassed, but not willing to move away, she decided to leave him be — he wasn't trying to be a macho-man or cop a feel, as there was no one around to impress, so Raven didn't mind. Should she?

His eyes lit up when he remembered something. "Wait. Do you remember what you owe me?"

Puzzled, Raven started to shake her head. He tilted his own to the side, bangs just brushing over his eyes. "I missed the last minute of _It Came From Outer Space_ because of you," he said in a condescending way, reminding Raven that she had shut off the television last night before he could finish some dumb movie from the fifties, nagging him about the homework he had to complete.

"So how do I repay you? Should I cook your dinner for a week?" she asked, struggling to keep her voice flat. One of his hands had slipped out of her pocket and was resting on the small of her back. Her breathing was getting harder to keep regulated. "I'll just spit in your food."

Darn, her voice was shaking.

She knew exactly what he wanted; and he knew she knew. And her heart was racing at what was hanging in the air between them, the awkward sexual tension that was about to shatter. Into a million pieces.

"God, you're so cute when you act like you hate me."

He kissed her.

And the world kind of disappeared.

Everything disappeared. The men in business suits that gave them dirty looks as they passed, the horrible smell of the subway, the rumbling of the floor as a train passed them by, the sleepiness she had been plagued with moments ago. All of those distractions vanished once he parted his mouth. Once he did that, her stomach dropped and her head spun and all that existed, all that had ever existed, all of that narrowed down to _him._ To the way that he smelled like slight body odor and something like the forest and another scent that was so completely male. To the way he yanked her body into his, jamming her against him, hunched over because now she was six inches shorter than he was. To the way her breasts were crushed up against his chest, and she wasn't embarrassed by it. To the way his bangs tickled her forehead, to the way his cheeks were fuzzy with the promise of a beard. To the way his breath tasted like tofu and mints, and that was the most delicious thing she had ever tasted.

She no longer cared that he was kissing her so passionately in the middle of a stinky, horrible subway station, and that this kind of display of affection would normally be unacceptable — if the paparazzi got a whiff of this, they'd be headlining newspapers for weeks. But they were in disguise, not Raven and Beast Boy locking lips, but two unidentified kids sharing a romantic moment in a public place.

Working undercover had its benefits.

She no longer cared because, Azar, he was so adorable, she thought she was going to explode. How had someone as cursed as she ended up with such a lovely boy, man? She could feel his love crashing into her, filling her to the brim with a warm, safe sensation. She could feel how strongly he wanted her, not just her body, but her soul.

She no longer cared because he was holding her waist and she wasn't a page-widths apart from him, and her arms were around his neck (how had they even gotten there?) and...and..

And it was amazing.

He broke off, their lips escaping each other with a mortifying pop, like suction cups being yanked apart. She could see nothing but his eyes, and although they were blue and not his natural emerald, they were his. And they were filed with such happiness, she couldn't believe that she was the cause of it.

"Sorry," he breathed. "I lost count after eight. That was supposed to last me the end of my movie."

"I hadn't been counting," Raven said, forcing away a smile. She felt less self-conscious when she saw his cheeks were as inflamed as hers felt.

"I guess we have to start over," he suggested lewdly, shrugging. This time, Raven couldn't help but smile at his request. And this time, _she_ was the one that engaged the contact of lips.

She savored the flavoring of Beast Boy, her Beast Boy, her Garfield. Oh yes, she had completely forgotten that they were supposed to call each other by code-names. Thank Goddess she hadn't blown their cover.

He grinned against her, murmuring, "Waitwaitwait. That was only thirteen seconds."

"You're the one that started talking, _Gar_," she mocked, enjoying the redness of his face when she called him by his true name.

"Then we try one more time, before our trains get here. How about it, R_ae_...chel?" He added, drawing out the "a" sound as he fought to remember her code-name. He looked at her in confusion, hoping he had guessed correctly, when she chuckled and rose on her toes to kiss him once more, for a third time.

Unexpectedly, Beast Boy ran his tongue over her teeth. He had never done that before, but that didn't hinder her pleasure; in fact, it heightened it. She always thought something like that would be disgusting, but then again, she always thought that Beast Boy was an immature idiot and she would never bother with him. A few seconds afterward, he apologized, not sounding at all sorry. "I had to do that. I forgot how normal teeth are supposed to feel," he grinned sheepishly.

Earnestly, Raven returned the favor, noticing that he stiffened and let out a short squeak of pleasure and surprise. His teeth felt strange to her highly sensitive tongue, his sharp fang even stranger. Testing, she ran her tongue over just his fang. She loved how it felt, so deeply sexual and intimate, yet more innocent than the thoughts running through her mind.

People started to shove past them, and Raven saw her train had arrived. She considered waiting for the next train, or even jeopardizing the mission to leave with Beast Boy; but it was already so late, and she could never be so selfish as to ruin their mission just so she could steal a few more precious moments with her friend.

Boyfriend? No, that wasn't what they were. They were something...more.

Something that the rest of the Titans also didn't know about. But, when the time came, they would. Hopefully soon. Raven couldn't stand having to wait until they were alone to hold hands.

"I've got to go," she muttered against his face, starting towards the train. He nodded, looking as if he had shared the same thoughts she had from before — that he wished they didn't need to be so precautions. That they could stay wrapped up in each other forever. His face was...wistful, even though they would see each other again in another hour — although they'd have to go back to pretending they could barely stand the sight of each other, for the sake of their friends. She unclasped her hand from his, fingertips lingering until she had to move farther away.

Turning around, right before the doors of the train swished shut, she shouted, "And to answer your note, I'd enjoy coffee sometime."

She could feel his happiness even after the train had departed.

**Guess who's decided to man up and start updating again? The first two chapters of LYF should be up in two weeks. The delay was long, and I'm not sure if it'll be worth it, but hey. I'm back.**

**By the by, this is an actual scene between my friend and her boyfriend. Creepy, hm?**


	10. Suspicion

It hurt when he transformed. It hurt so badly, but he couldn't scream; his vocal cords hadn't formed yet.

Bones crunching; the sickening sound as they cracked and popped into place, the mind-numbing pain everywhere in his body; skin tightening around him, stretching and pulling tightly. He almost thought it would rip in half, exposing his taught blood vessels squirming beneath the surface. Lungs were formed, and the oxygen burned him. His muscles were on fire, constricting and morphing from one shape to another. Teeth elongating, ripping out of his mouth, gums bleeding—blood, sharp and tangy on his over-sized tongue. Like someone had hit him in the head with a baseball bat—that was how it felt when his skull started to shrink. Eyes tearing, it stung, it hurt, it hurt so much. This was never going to end.

Oh God, this was torture.

Just as he almost receded into a blackness that whispered comfortingly, it ended. The pain disappeared, all in only a second. For what seemed like hours of horrible agony had lasted a second, at the most. It always did.

He just never thought it would when it happened.

Beast Boy rolled his neck, adjusting himself to human form after two hours in the another shape. It always hurt the most when he went from small animal to large, large animal to small. He checked the rest of the training room, happy that no one else had noticed his momentary spasm of pain. He had grown excellent at raising his pain tolerance, and he could hide his discomfort easily now. Eight years hadn't been all for nothing.

Except...Why was Raven staring at him?


	11. Tangible

They had only been a team for four weeks-four weeks of living with these...otherwise insufferable people that had somehow claimed Raven as one of their own-and the most annoying one, that Beast Boy, had already fallen in love. If not for her empathic powers, Raven probably wouldn't have been able to notice how much he secretly cared for the alien girl. His affection was unmistakable, though-nothing tasted quite like love did; kind of like pure bleach-and when Raven did manage to observe her teammates interactions, small details became crystal clear. Whenever Beast Boy would jump to get the alien something before she even finished her sentence, or how he tried desperately to look older and more mature than fourteen when she was around.

It was funny; Beast Boy was good at burying his feelings. Raven was sure that she was the only one aware of his crush, and she kept that to herself. In fact, Raven was suprised that Beast Boy, who was normally so hyper and happy and annoying, was so good at pretending not to feel anything towards Starfire.

Or towards Robin. It was apparent that Starfire enjoyed Robins' company more so than any of the other Titans; and the feeling was mutual. Raven could tell for herself, but one didn't need to be an empath to see that. Beast Boy certainly could. And he absolutely hated it, hated being carelessly tossed aside when their team leader entered the room, hated how Starfire thought Robin was sweet and caring and kind and funny, hated how Robin was taller and stronger and two years older than he was.  
Yet, for some strange reason, he did not hate Robin himself. Raven was perplexed by this, but again, she kept this to herself-she was pretty sure the team didn't even know she could taste emotions. Which was, possibly, for the best.

Yes, Beast Boy resented the attention Starfire showered Robin with, and he grew jealous of the leader as well. But he laughed along with the best of them, pretended that all was well, when really, he was simmering with envy. He would sulk whenever he had the chance to be alone, but as soon as another Titan came by, he would switch his emotions at an almost bipolar speed. He was good at lying, good at looking like he didn't care at all. But it was eating him up inside, and Raven knew it. And she couldn't get involved.

No one knew, not even Beast Boy, that she was monitoring his emotions constantly out of pure curiosity. He was such an interesting specimen, always feeling this, and hiding that, and acting such and such. Amusing was too cruel of a word to describe why Raven was paying such close attention to him, but it was the only thing that could convey her sudden interest.  
She would keep an eye on him, see what might come of all this. But no matter what, she reminded herself, she could not get involved.

No matter how emotionally desperate he became, no matter how cruel it was not to influence his feelings without him knowing, she could not put herself in the midst of this...strange, one-sided attraction.

Only pain would become of it.


	12. Explosion

**A warning to those who read further: This is a sex scene, one that **_**is**_** remotely graphic. Those who do not wish to read, or those who are too young, please ignore the following update. I'd appreciate if we could be mature and appreciate this as more than soft porn kthnx.**

"Are you sure?" I ask, because honestly, I'm more nervous than she is and I don't know how to cover it up – especially considering she's able to read my emotions on a constant basis.

She has her arms wrapped around my shoulders, one leg wrapped around my waist. Her lips are swollen from kisses, and the lower lip bleeds slightly, a result from my fangs biting into her. I feel guilty that I always accidentally hurt her when we fool around, but I think that secretly she likes the pain. I wouldn't be surprised by that. Her hair is in disarray, and mine probably is, too. She looks up at me, through heavily-lidded eyes and thick eyelashes, and there is no light in the blue orbs that lay beneath them – then again, there never is. She lost the light in them a long time ago. Her skin is paler than I've ever seen it, especially in the moonlight, and her bare shoulders protrude angrily out from the rest of her body.

We're both breathing heavily; our fear, our want, our feelings mingle with the puff of our breath, our foreheads together as we rest for a moment.

I breathe a little heavier waiting for her response.

I've messed around with other girls before Raven. It was never that hard for me. Sure, I'm green, but I'd like to say I'm not _that_ bad-looking, and I do happen to be a superhero. I'm not a jerk, though, I'm not one of those tools that use their celebrity-status to bang a girl and then never call her again. In fact, I've never even had sex before, though I do have some crazy stories to boast to Cy about – one girl actually wanted me as a sea-otter; I had to walk out on that one.

I digress; I have been with a few ladies in my time, serial dating here and there, after Terra. They were all really nice, but I could never focus on one girl for a long period of time. Maybe it was the heartbreak over a certain blonde girl, maybe it was because of my short attention span, and maybe it was because they were all boring after a while. I used to have a thing with Raven when we were younger, y'know, a teenage crush, but it never went anywhere. I always thought it would be pointless to chase after a girl who didn't have any feelings at all, so I let it go. I just…retained a quiet attraction for her all this time. I can appreciate a girl being attractive without drooling all over her.

But, as I had learned recently, Raven was quite capable of feelings. She was quite capable of many things, actually.

Oh, shit, was she capable.

I don't know how we got into this situation, really. It was something that happened all on its own. Half of it was hormones, half of it was how large her breasts seemed to have swelled and her face seemed to thin out over the years, and half of it was because there was a spark of something left from my old crush on her. Raven has intrigued me for years; she's stone, she's ice, but there's something burning inside her that no one is ever able to fully understand. I'll admit I've always wanted to know what that something is. I still don't know. But when she pushed me up against the kitchen wall four months ago and started kissing me, I thought that I was starting to get a hint at what was going on beneath that stoic mask of hers.

We've never mentioned what we do to anyone. It's like after the moment is gone, it didn't even happen. We don't hang out, we don't cuddle, and we don't talk. We keep the same distance we always have forever. It's like a dirty secret – not exactly something we're ashamed of, but something that isn't important. Friends-with-benefits, I'm pretty sure it's called.

I tried asking her once, y'know, nonchalantly and all that, so that I wouldn't come off as desperate or anything, why she decided on me. I really hope she wasn't able to tell how curious I was, but in hindsight, she probably could taste it on me, and it's kind of embarrassing. Either way, she gave me that blank-slate face of hers and shrugged, said, "I doubt Robin or Cyborg would have wanted to," and continued walking to the training room.

So I stopped asking questions, because I was afraid of getting shot down like that again.

Now, I can feel my ears twitching in the silence. This is the first question I've asked in a while, after all the kisses, the torn shirts, the hands trailing up legs, the wet lips and claw marks. All that we've done, I could live with no-questions asked.

But as far as I am aware, she's a virgin, too. Despite her experience, her readiness to instigate, her seemingly out-of-know-where knowledge, I'm definitely sure she is.

She doesn't answer, just dips her head and kisses my neck, and I shut my eyes. With Raven, I can shut my eyes and enjoy the ride, I can see colors ripple behind my eyelids, I can feel something knotting up in my stomach and blooming around my insides, a spider-like hand creeping its way up and gripping my chest with all its might. I don't know if she feels the same way; I'm always too afraid to ask, if she feels the electricity when we touch, like I do. Maybe this is more than a friends-with-benefits thing for me, maybe I'm looking for too much out of this, maybe –

She nips my collarbone, hard, and I gasp, dragging my nails across her lower back violently enough to make her back arch. I love that, having the control to make her move like that. When I have stupid thoughts, like maybe having feelings for her under all the sexual energy, I let all my confusion out through our little get-togethers, and I can forget all about it. Usually.

She runs her hands up and down my arms, and works on a mean hickey that will take a week of wearing turtle-necks to hide; in response, I use my left hand to cup around the familiar shape of her right breast and squeeze gently, while the other hand unclips the back of her bra. We've messed around enough for me to understand how her underwear works, so there isn't any complication. She presses her chest against me and presses her lips against mine at the same time, cupping my face while I tug her bra off. Her skin always feels so cold.

Her fingers somehow flitter to the hem of my boxers, and my breathing hitches, like it always does. The room is hot, and the breeze from the open window whispers against my exposed face. She kisses down my chest, runs her tongue down my stomach, and circles my belly-button before stopping above my boxers. She looks up at me again, through those fucking gorgeous eyelashes, and smirks. Because she knows how badly I want her. Because she knows how much power she has over me. It's like she's feeding off this emotion, and all I can do is lie here and comply.

God, she's pretty. God, she's beautiful. God, I love her.

For a second, she recoils. It's almost like she could hear what I'm thinking, and I have a spasm of fear for a moment in my chest. I calm myself two seconds later; there's no way she could decipher it beneath all of this lust.

Then, she yanks down my boxers, and I'm exposed to her, but it's nothing new. This time, though, she runs her hand up my thigh, and I shiver as it passes all the way up my torso and behind my neck. I've been passing my hands up and down her body, as well, almost unconsciously. Finally, I finger the lace of her panties, the only thing separating the two of us now. I hesitate, my eyes searching hers for a sign to stop. Nothing but the same dead-eyed stare.

She sits up on me, the outline of her breasts jiggling in the dim-light of her room, and I pause. Her expression doesn't change.

"Garfield." Her voice is hoarse. There are four small, purple bruises forming on her neck and shoulder that I don't remember giving her. I raise and lower my eyebrows quickly, signaling her to continue her statement.

Slowly, deliberately, she lowers her lips to my ear.

"I'm sure. You were the one I was waiting for." Her voice is soft, a whisper, velvet around my body; with my sensitive hearing, it vibrates through my entire core, tingles down my spine.

She kisses me again, this time tenderly, not the aggressively passionate kisses we typically share. It's almost…sweet, almost as if there's something else behind it besides an urgency for sex.

I tear off her panties and grunt as she squeezes her thighs around my hips.

...

I can hear myself growling, low, in the back of my throat. My fingers dig deep into the flesh of her sides, definitely leaving marks, and she grips my shoulders for dear life, her lower body undulating wildly.

I look up into her eyes, and surprise jolts me.

There's a light in her eyes. An almost literal light, shining, high-lighting the golden flecks in her eyes I've never noticed until now. There's life in them. There's something, that something I think I've always been trying to figure out.

_I'm the reason for that light_.

...

She loves me too.

We've never said anything. We didn't mention it after. We haven't become an exclusive couple since then; our situation hasn't changed at all.

Except sometimes. Sometimes we hold eye-contact for longer than necessary. Sometimes we sit in the living room, not bothering with each other at all, just to be in the same space. Sometimes I leave tea for her in the morning, and she leaves a veggie-burger for me at night. Aside from that, we don't bother with each other any more than we have to, not counting our late-night endeavors. I don't think we'll ever actually talk about it; we're both too afraid to find out for sure, to say it out loud.

But I know that she loves me too.


End file.
